If you’re a cat and you’ve learnt Pigeonese. (HA HA HA! As if a cat would be smart enough to learn Pigeonese). This must mean if you are a cat and you are able to read this, you have taken a pigeon hostage so that you can trick them into translating the Pigeonese words into Meow. I demand you release the hostage pigeon now. My book contains TOP SECRET ideas that are NONE of a cat’s business. Dave Pigeon is writing a book on how he defeated Mean Cat in order to help fellow pigeons everywhere. Cats beware!